Two bloody hopeless women

If I had to choose whether I would rather be stuck on a desert island with Theresa May or Diane Abbott, I think my preference would be to eat myself rather than be condemned to suffer either of them. Both had their day in the spotlight yesterday - well, as prime minister, May is never far away from it, but she did another big BBC interview, this one against a backdrop of Portsmouth Harbour (no one pushed her in), and was naturally the star, and only, turn on the Tories' first election broadcast. Diane Abbott, despite the belief in the Corbyn camp that she is a great broadcast performer, gave the most excruciating exhibition on Nick Ferrari's LBC show. Not for the first time, she came over as a politician who never reads a brief, doesn't know the facts, only thinks about things superficially and is convinced she can bullshit her way through anything because she is so witty, clever and charming. The thought that she would be home secretary in a Corbyn government is both terrifying and laughable. At least she wouldn't be heckled or booed when she spoke at the Police Federation conference - delegates would be unable to as they would be guffawing so much. Her being in charge of this country's complex Home Office organisation would be as ludicrous as Theresa May being in charge of it. Oh, hang on - she was - for a record six years. And now she is prime minister. Every day Mrs May is bombarded by Brexit realities that should bury her, her government and her party. Yet on she ploughs robotically, parroting ridiculous lines that are an embarrassment to this country. By singling out the May/Abbott duopoly I don't want to imply that women can't do what men can. On the contrary, women are on the whole better than men in politics at all levels. It is just these two women who have, for different reasons, risen to positions which they shouldn't be allowed near. The same can be said about some men - stand up David Cameron and Jeremy Corbyn, to name but two - but it is the prime minister and shadow home secretary who thrust themselves to the foreground yesterday. And succeeded in doing nothing except confirming what a mess this country and its politics are in.